Domestic Blues
by Alia Lowe
Summary: The war has just ended and the G-boys are getting some well-deserved R and R. However, what do you do when they start to get bored? Rating will change depending on the pranks. Please read if you want a good laugh.
1. Cookie attack

Hello! Alia here with another GW series that will make you laugh in every chapter. Domestic Blues is an Arc of stories of the G-Boys misadventures while adjusting to normal life. I helped get ideas for this series for Div- chicki so go check out her works as well. What happens when these ex- assassins get bored? Very scary thought.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the bishonen boys in it.  
  
Chapter One  
  
The year is 197 A.C. The last war has ended but the Gundams have not been destroyed for defense purposes. The G-boys are peacefully relaxing in one of Quatre's many estates getting some well-deserved R and R. The birds are chirping, the sky is quiet and peacefully and a calm wind blows in the summer day.  
  
"Maxwell! Justice demands that I kill you!"  
  
So much for serenity.  
  
"Eep! What did I do now," Duo shouted to the other boy as he led the chase through the living room. Duo dodged a chair and quickly pulled his long hair out of range of where the katana fell seconds later.  
  
"Maxwell! I told you not to eat my cookies until they cooled you little thief!" Wufei shouted. "Now get back here and take your punishment like a man."  
  
Duo stopped to face Wufei for a second before answering. "Hey Wu-man, I run and hide. I didn't take those chocolate chip cookies though."  
  
"Ah ha! How did you know what kind of cookies I made? Injustice! I spent hours on those cookies." The katana was skillfully thrust in the air, making Duo squeal. He quickly spun on his heel and fled out the back door as quickly as possible.  
  
"Wait! I didn't do anything wrong! This is injustice!!!"  
  
Meanwhile Trowa and Quatre were sitting in a couch in the middle of the living room trying their best to keep a straight face. Trowa had to duck when Duo skillfully vaulted over the couch and escaped through an open door. The couch had to be evacuated when Wufei's katana almost sliced the couch in half, leaving a few of Trowa's hairs behind as fallen casualties.  
  
"Injustice! Get back here Maxwell!"  
  
Trowa and Quatre followed Wufei outside and leaned again the doorway chuckling as Wufei continued to terrorize the Deathsythe pilot.  
  
During his chase, Duo saw the two laughing at him. "Stop laughing at me! This isn't funny at all." Still chuckling, Quatre responded, "We're not laughing at you. We're just laughing in your general direction."1  
  
Duo managed to make an undignified face and muttered some curses under his strained breath. "I'll get you back for that!"  
  
Hearing all of the commotion, Heero decided to walk to the door and check was all of the shouting was about. "Who is causing all of this god damn commotion? I was busy working on my laptop but I can't concentrate with all of this yelling." Heero paused in his ranting to take a bite of his chocolate chip cookie.  
  
"Ah ha! So you were the one to take the cookie," Quatre accused the Wing pilot.  
  
"Umm, I didn't steal it. It was on the table," Heero said. "By the way, Trowa," he said turning to the uni-banged boy. "There's a little chocolate on your face."  
  
1 - the weird conversations I have with people during lunch in the band room  
  
Hope you liked this first installment of Domestic Blues. More to come soon.  
  
~Alia 


	2. The Search for Inner Peace

Hello all! I'm back with some more fun-filled G-boy adventures.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing *cries softly* I also do not own Cri- Kee from Disney's Mulan. *snicker* he gets his own starring role later  
  
Beta by Div  
  
Also, a special thank-you to Div-chicki for helping me think up some of these ideas.  
  
A thank you to the following reviewers:  
  
Erinamatino-limited2-nothing - ^_^ back at you  
  
Vic - here's the update  
  
Zeionia - thanks  
  
Solus Nox - lol, I'm not that good at drawing anime characters. If you want to be my quest  
  
"The Search for Inner Peace"  
  
Wufei sighed as he sat down in the middle of his room and lit a nearby incense candle. The hard drive of a ruined computer lay chopped in several pieces on the desk and a now dull katana was leaned up against the wall beside it. Wufei took several deep breaths as he tried to bring his blood pressure down. Slowly, the throbbing vein in his forehead receded and Wufei was alone again in an empty room with a broken computer.  
  
'Why can't I concentrate on anything today?' Wufei wondered. 'First the broken dishes, then the microwave and now a slow computer.' Wufei simply shrugged. The computer could be replaced, new dishes could be bought and the microwave was more Maxwell's fault then his own so he left the braided- boy to deal with that.  
  
Satisfied with his analysis, Wufei folded his legs in a cross-legged fashion and began to meditate. Meditating was good, meditating was calming, meditating...was suddenly interrupted.  
  
"Oh god, Trowa!"  
  
The pulsing vein returned in full force as Wufei tried to ignore the muffled voices in the next room.  
  
"Oh, right there, huh Quatre?"  
  
"Yes! Oh, right there. Harder, harder!"  
  
Wufei's body started to turn red from his face down to his toes. His over- productive mind could only imagine what was going on in the next room. The voices stopped for a few moments and Wufei managed to calm himself down again. His mind began to ease in a calm, soothing state once again. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breathe out. Breath in -  
  
"Hey, Trowa," Quatre whined. "Why did you stop?"  
  
"I need more lotion."  
  
Wufei's state of inner peace was shattered for good. He blew out the candle and high-tailed it out of the room before the noises had a chance to pick up in tempo. Deciding to leave the katana in his room, lest he break something else, Wufei proceeded to slam the door. He cursed loudly as he walked by Trowa and Quatre's room. "Hentais!"  
  
Quatre looked up from the bed as he heard Wufei walk by in the hallway. "I wonder what that was about?"  
  
"Who knows," Trowa answered. Getting more lotion, he gently spread more on Quatre's pale back and began to massage under the right shoulder blade.  
  
Quatre's eyes fluttered in contentment. "Oh yeah, right there. You definitely give the best massages, Trowa." (1)  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Meanwhile, our lovable Wufei-kun was making his way over to the living room. Plopping down on the plush carpet, Wufei relit his incense candle and began to concentrate on meditating again. His pulse rate began to slow and his breathing became more regulated as he let his mind wander to other things. The clouds were gently blowing in the breeze, the brook was gently flowing and gunshots could be heard approaching fast. What the?! Gunshots?  
  
"Duo! Omoe o korusu, give me back my laptop at once!"  
  
"Not a chance Hee-chan," Duo answered back. Wufei tried not to ignore the incoming distractions. He barely held back a wince when a bullet lodged itself in the wall two feet from where Wufei was sitting. Duo then proceeded to bounce from couch to couch before out-maneuvering Heero and running back down the hallway.  
  
As soon as the coast was clear, Wufei slowly cracked one eye open then the other. The injustices of injustices faced him as the vein in his forehead started to throb again.  
  
The candle had been blown out.  
  
"That's it!" Wufei shouted as he stomped out of the room. He picked up his poor blown-out candle as an afterthought and made his way outside.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Wufei walked a good ways away from the house and into the woods in the back yard. Coming upon a small, quiet clearing, Wufei sat down and lit the candle once more. The air was silent except for the wind in the trees. The noises of the other Gundam pilots were finally behind him as he began to clear his mind of all distractions.  
  
*Chirp*  
  
Wufei grimaced as a lone cricket dared to enter his new holy sanctuary.  
  
*Chirp chirp*  
  
Wufei opened his eyes and stared at his new nemesis. The tiny blue and purple cricket stared right back at its opponent, not willing to budge.  
  
*Chirp chirp*  
  
Wufei looked eyes with the tiny cricket as the battle of wills began. Who would win? The first to break eye contact would be forced to leave the clearing. Wufei was too noble to try and take a swipe as his tiny opponent. The terms were set and the contest started to heat up.  
  
*Three hours later*  
  
The cricket still remained. Despite the three-hour time span, the tiny opponent still refused to break eye contact from the Shenlong pilot. No amount of cursing on Wufei's part could sway the cricket long enough to distract it. The sun was beginning to set and the incense candle had blown out a long time ago.  
  
"Wufei, dinner!" was shouted from the house.  
  
"Kisama," Wufei muttered as he stood up and stretched his legs. "You win for now, cricket. Until next time." Wufei bowed his head down in shame and slowly made his way back to the house.  
  
The cricket waited a few moments before sighing in relief. He looked at the nearby bushes as he heard someone approach.  
  
*Chirp chirp?*  
  
Duo emerged from the bushes snickering as he turned off his video camera. "That was great Cri-Kee. Good work."  
  
*Chirp chirp*  
  
"Well, here's the twenty I promised you," Duo said as he handed the cricket a twenty dollar bill. "I'll call you when I need you again."  
  
*Chirp chirp*  
  
"Well, see ya later. If I don't get back soon, Wufei will eat all of my dinner." Duo waved a goodbye before heading back to the house.  
  
Alone again, the cricket gave a shout of triumph.  
  
*Chirp!*  
  
Cri-Kee then grabbed a stick of incense from the bushes and began to meditate.  
  
tbc ~ ~ ~  
  
(1) What did you think was going on in Trowa and Quatre's room? This is PG after all.  
  
Please read and review 


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